It’s that time of year again. Hallowe’en, that increasingly commercialised festival that has morphed from a single night to an entire week – half-term has even been scheduled to coincide with it. That can’t be an accident.

I don’t recall ever being fussed about Hallowe’en as a kid, but Daughter is very keen to carve pumpkins and go out with her mates on the day itself.

Last year’s pumpkin carving ended in tears when Daughter dropped her masterpiece. Her tears were of rage while her best friend cried with laughter.

New research by Asda claims that three in ten Brits feel under pressure to have an amazingly decorated home they can slap on Instagram, while a fifth admit to trying to outdo their neighbours (filling Asda’s coffers to the tune of £2.6-million). Apparently, the South West is a hotbed of competition on that front.

Incidentally, did you know homeowners are legally liable for any accidents caused by their decorations? These include tripping hazards, falling objects or poorly-lit areas that could result in injuries, and subsequent council fines or legal claims.

That’s one more reason for me not to indulge in any of that stuff. I live in a quiet cul-de-sac that hardly anyone is aware of, so even when we put our pumpkin out for our own amusement, we don’t get door-knocks.

Which is just as well, as there are no treats. Fortunately, Asda reckons tricks are on the decline, with over half of Brits never having fallen victim.

For all of that jazz, you need to go to the housing estate behind us, which puts on a fabulous display – lights, cobwebs, skeletons, the whole shebang. Hats off to the parents for this, with a big shout-out to the dad who rigged up a sound system so he could remonstrate with kids who tried to take sweets from the bowl in his drive. “NOT THAT ONE!” he would boom, Vincent Price-style. “IT’S MY FAVOURITE!”

Asda estimates that UK consumer spending at Hallowe’en has quadrupled, and was valued at more than £1-billion in 2023. It’s fast becoming a ghoulish gifting celebration, with 43 per cent of people splashing out on pyjamas, toys, horror films and “boo baskets” (overflowing with seasonal tat and tooth-rotting candies) for friends and family.

I’m afraid it all leaves me a bit “bah humbug”. Indeed, it appeals most to Gen Z (18 to 24-year-olds), with half viewing Halloween as the most exciting celebration of the year, buying outfits especially to attend or host house parties. 

Daughter is 14, and angling to go to her favourite gothic fashion store to splash some cash (mine, obviously) on more skull-and-crossbones threads.

(As an aside, The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents – RoSPA – has revealed that tests on children's Halloween costumes purchased online showed that over 80 per cent of costumes for under-sevens failed basic safety tests, including flammability standards, strangulation hazards and appropriate labelling. Its advice: choose costumes from trusted sources that meet UK safety standards).

Don’t get me wrong – I love a community event as much as the next person. In Spooky Newquay, the gargantuan Zombie Crawl was due to take place last weekend, and promised to be bigger and better than ever before; St Austell’s takes place on actual Halloween night.

And there’s plenty of spooky this and pumpkin that going on courtesy of the National Trust, including a scarecrow trail at Cotehele in the Tamar Valley. Apples and orchards also feature heavily, including pressing at Godolphin and a heritage apple trail at Trelissick.

It’s worth remembering that in Cornwall, October 31 was better known as Allantideor the Feast of Saint Allan – or Kalan Gwav, meaning first day of winter. Shiny red apples were given to friends and family for good luck, while older girls would place an Allan apple under their pillow in the hope of seeing the person they might marry in their dreams.

I was disappointed to learn that Cornwall came bottom of a poll of counties (source: Homeprotect) with the spookiest roads, a statistic made even worse by Devon topping the list with 80 such scary sites. These ranged in monstruous moniker from Coffins Lane to Witch Lane, with 23 street names containing the word ‘grave’, eight containing ‘dark’, four with ‘dead’ and two with ‘bat’ or ‘headless’. (Further examples around the UK included ‘moon’, ‘spider’, ‘goblin’, ‘lantern’, ‘cobweb’, ‘devil’ or ‘blood’).

I’d expect no less from a county that has its own “hairy hand” legend on Dartmoor, but we really need to try harder in Kernow. I can think of a couple of locations to chill the bones: Hals Grave, on the A39 in North Cornwall, and Mount Misery in Penzance. I don’t know why either is so-called - if anyone knows who Hal was, or what misery befell whom, please tell me – I’m simply dying to know.