The central heating is on. I’ve finally cracked, having held off for some time; once it’s on, you get very used to it.

The Other Half would be furious, I thought as I flicked the switch. He’s been encouraging us to have warm baths of an evening, seemingly oblivious to the fact that water costs money too.

He called shortly afterwards: “Is the central heating on?” Having narrowly missed the queues of traffic snowbound on Bodmin Moor, he was keen for the house to be toasty on his return. Ah, bless.

If OH is the central heating police, I’m the billpayer, meaning even I have one eye on the smart meter. As winter approaches, you are likely to find me in my home office, wheatie bag slung around my shoulders and hiking socks shielding my extremities from frostbite. I haven’t quite stooped to fingerless gloves and bobble hat, but never say never.

Daughter’s school sent a letter out last week, reminding parents of the protocol should cold weather result in shutdown. I made the mistake of mentioning this to Daughter, who set her heart on this happening the following morning (she might even have lit a joss stick and uttered a few incantations to this very end).

When my alarm clock failed to go off at the required hour, leaving her a mere half-hour to shower, dress, eat and get her backside to school, she admitted she’d seen the time but assumed it was a “no-school day”. Bad luck, kiddo.

As we drove in, greeting every red light with teeth as gritted as the roads, she formulated her excuses. “I think I’ll just blame the traffic – it worked last time,” she mused.

“Last time” was just a few days earlier, when I drove her in, only to discover she’d forgotten her glasses. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quick enough to make my getaway, and she was back in the car and belted up within a nanosecond, insisting we drive back and get them.

“I’ll blame the traffic,” she sniffled as we headed back for the walk of shame. My suggestion: just tell the truth. She is, after all, blind as a bat without her specs, just as 99 per cent of human beings have experienced an alarm clock failure and will show some empathy (even while dishing out a detention).

“Say the cat ate your homework,” I added with a hint of sarcasm, which went down as well as you’d expect. (Actually, “my mum’s alarm clock didn’t go off” isn’t much better, is it?)

Back at home, I tackled an inbox heaving with winter-related marketing guff, some of which was actually quite useful. Heating technicians’ registration body OFTEC provided a money-saving checklist to counter changes to the Winter Fuel Payment (in the South West, Cornwall is expected to be hit hardest, with almost 138,000 people receiving the payment in 2023/24).

OFTEC recommends main living areas are heated to a minimum of 18C to stave off the health issues caused by living in a cold house. Its advice ranges from turning off radiators in rooms you aren’t using to adjusting your timers so your house only warms up when you need it to.

Admittedly, leaving the heating on can be costly if you’re at work all day; sadly, as a homeworker, I don’t have the luxury of keeping warm at someone else’s expense. However, I did turn the heating off to save a few pennies when I went out on a job.

I also ran around the house closing windows, doors and curtains – some of the simplest measures that can lead to major energy savings. Regrettably, I have yet to overcome the problem of radiators being obstructed by sofas, cupboards, you name it – our furniture is hot, and that’s not cool.

An annual boiler service is a must to ensure efficiency and identify problems before they become costly to fix. But I haven’t booked ours in yet and can’t honestly remember when it was last serviced. I do recall it cost £144, because I told the engineer that was “gross” and he didn’t laugh.

I’m no DIY-er, so I’m afraid I won’t be bleeding radiators or lagging pipes. Maybe if I was one of the 40,000 households in Cornwall on oil heating, I would be better prepared; I would need to be sure I had enough oil in the tank to avoid an expensive emergency delivery, as opposed to flicking a switch and having instant heat.

Other helpful nuggets include ensuring cats have alternative access to comfort in case the cat flap freezes shut and putting the rabbits in a nice warm shed with a window (thank you, PDSA). Meanwhile, British Garden Centres advise that you move houseplants closer to windows and dust their leaves to aid photosynthesis.

But for now, I’m wondering: where did I put my woolly socks?