“AND so this is Christmas,” sang John Lennon. “And what have you done?”

At the moment, my answer is “pretty much nothing”. Perhaps you’re in the same boat – after all, there’s still a good six weeks to go, right?

However, I can hear the bells jingling loud and clear. The TV ads have started – keep the tissues to hand as John Lewis and M&S tug at the heartstrings – and the festive stories are trickling in. I have the dates of the big events burnt into my brain, and boy, are they fast approaching.

This Friday in Truro will see the Christmas lights switched on; the Christmas market kicks off too, and lasts an amazing 33 days. That’s plenty of time to find your artisan gift and stock up on local liquor for the seasonal cupboard (if it lasts that long).

I’ve even had a sneak preview of the pantomime dame finale frock to be donned by Kernow King in the Hall For Cornwall’s production of Jack and the Beanstalk - although I was left in no doubt as to what would happen if I revealed too many details. (In short: I’d have to kill you).

It’s all shaping up to be a holly, jolly Christmas. And yet, statistics suggest the season actually brings “pure stress” to approximately 12.5-million (18 per cent) of Brits (source: Statista).

I’m feeling this already. I’m fretting about making the cake - when exactly is Stir-Up Sunday? - and wondering whether I can braise the red cabbage early and freeze it. The Other Half has grown his own this year, and it’s a race to get to it before the slugs do; but I can only find one recipe, and I don’t want to be heartily sick of it before December 25.

Apparently, there are too many expectations associated with Christmas, meaning that for many, it’s an emotionally draining day that requires a great deal of effort to get through.

The lovely people at online gaming platform VegasSlotsOnline.com (I’m obliged to credit them but please, please don’t go there) has partnered with body language expert (astrologer and mystic) Inbaal Honigman to share the art of mastering the Festive Poker Face in all scenarios, from pretending to like gifts to keeping the peace with difficult in-laws. 

For all that I am cynical about the source, there is some merit in the advice. For example, if you open a present you don't like, don’t put it down – this is the number one giveaway that will let others know you don't appreciate their generosity.

Instead, says Honigman, clutch it to your bosom, or place it on your lap – keep it close to demonstrate that the gift is precious to you. Make eye contact with the gift giver, thank them with a wide smile and use a higher vocal pitch, which gives the impression that you're thrilled with the present. (You can always offload it to a charity shop once they have gone).

Next: how to hide your true feelings from your in-laws? Answer: “Keep your hands busy.” This is not to stop you from punching them, but to distract you from irritation and mask your true feelings.

"It's almost impossible to lie when it comes to body language,” says Honigman. “Try to avoid overthinking, and do something with your hands instead.” She suggests joining in with activities such as setting the table or scoring sprouts, or volunteering for jobs outside the house like going to get milk or taking the dog for a walk (presumably alone, or in the company of people you can tolerate).

You should also turn your body towards who you’re talking to, if you’re trying to appear as though you like them; and don't cross your arms or turn your back on people, which might indicate you are annoyed with them.

Above all, “your facial expression is one of the most important tools in making a positive connection with people”. Smiling and nodding, even when an unwanted family member is speaking, is positive body language you can rely on, not to mention a true feat in the face of an annoying presence. Grit those teeth, people!

I’m blessed in that I get on famously with my in-laws. Come Christmas Day, my mother-in-law will be scoring sprouts and par-boiling potatoes like the domestic goddess she is (and I’m not).

If all else fails, get the Christmas music on, don some tinsel and boogie around the kitchen. Spotify confirms its most played Christmas song is Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You with over 1.82-billion streams, earning over $7.3-million in revenue. Daughter loves to sing along; sadly, she does not share Ms Carey’s stratospheric vocal range, so I’ll be asking Father Christmas for some earplugs in my stocking.